Begin Again
by Allyson Dark
Summary: After being mutilated, Faith is resurrected, only to have a foggy memory, a painful scar and a love for a certain blondie. Lets see what happens when old friends are reunited, will the old spark light a new flame? I don't own these characters, I just love the show. If you don't like the shipping don't read.
1. A New Beginning

I don't remember much from that night, only the pain of being torn, both physically and emotionally. I suppose I should give you the details, I won't bore you with all of them, just the ones I remember and the ones I was told when I woke up.

The night was pitch, the air cold, demons surrounded us, her back was pressed, warm, against mine. Ever since we met, I had been acutely aware of my blonde partner, it was only after we were honest about our feelings, did Buffy feel the extra sense between us. Some how we had gotten separated and as I fought off a demon, I saw its master heading for Buffy, sword in hand. His intent was to mow down my blonde heroine. Before thought could really be, well, thought about, I was running toward her. The instant my body hit hers, the blade hit mine, the pain was searing but, the only thing I could think about was the fact that Buffy was safe.

It was pretty much a blur from then on, I vaguely realized that I had nearly been severed, the gaping wound had split my back from the tip of my right shoulder, to the base of my left hip. My spinal cord had been severed, or so I was told, all I can remember after that was the heart breaking scream that issued from my loves mouth. I was told that she killed the master and mowed down his forces with his own sword. In the recesses of my mind, I can see her crying over my mangled body but, its more of a dream like memory than anything. And yes, if you're wondering, I died but, seeing as I'm a slayer and I have some friends in high places.

After the initial funeral and that sort of thing, I was taken to a monastery, somewhere in Europe, I've been here a year and I still don't know where the hell I am. Anyway, they did there little thing and here I am, the only reminders of that day is my shit memory and the scar running down my back. The memories, I can handle, the scar, thats what gives me trouble. See, it tends to hurt, when I'm stressed or when I over work myself or even when I get really pissed off, it burns like someone it pressing a hot iron to it. On most days, I can ignore the pain and work through it, I had been training since I was awakened. My goal, to get back to Sunnydale and find Buffy, even if it was only to see her with someone else, it would calm the storm that was my thoughts, I remembered every touch, every kiss, every sound, taste, everything about her and it killed me not to be with her.

I moved through my training routine, ignoring the pain in my back as sweat poured down my face. My work had gone so far since the first week here, I might as well have been a child learning how to walk. I got my ass handed to me a lot the first few months, it was only after about six that I started kicking some ass myself. I paused for a moment to get a drink and stretch my shoulder out, the pain was starting to die down a bit as I walked out of the gym. I sighed as I turned the corner, heading to my room. I was nearly to the door when the familiar tingle on awareness moved through my body, it was like a thrumming pulse was coming from my bedroom.

"Buffy" I whispered as I opened the door, my heart nearly stopped when I saw her, it was like an angel was sitting on my bed.

"Faith" She spoke softly as she stood up, my eyes never left hers as she moved toward me. "I didn't think it could be true but..here you are" She murmured as her arms moved around me.

I always felt warm when I was in contact with her, not like an uncomfortable summer day hot, more like the warmth you get when you drink something hot. It just moves from your chest to the rest of your body. I sighed softly as I moved my arms around her and held her close, she smelled the same, felt the same, surely this had to be a dream.

"Please tell me this is real." I whispered as I buried my face in her hair. Even if it was a dream, I wanted to savor this feeling for as long as I could. I felt her nuzzle my chest as she hugged me tighter.

"Of course it's real, I'm here..I'm here" I had to strain to hear her but, still, I heard her and it made my heart skip. She was here for me, I finally got to hold her again. It took all I had not to melt as she moved, just slightly, to place a soft kiss on my neck. "I missed you, so much" She murmured, her breath hot against my skin.

I swallowed hard and traced shapes on her lower back, incising small sounds from her. I chuckled lightly, my face red "I missed you too, I'm so glad you're here." I pulled away, just enough to see her face and smiled. Her beautiful eyes still sparkled when she grinned "Do you still love me" I winked and watched her blush.

"Of course I do, why else would I have tracked you down" She smirked before placing a kiss on my lips. Even this small gesture sent us both down down a hot and twisted path, as our mouths moved together, almost as if we had never been apart.

By the time we broke apart, we were both red faced and out of breath. It was amazing what we could do to each other. I felt a strange sense of wonder as she smiled shyly at me, it was like we were back to the first time we kissed. "You need to pack" She said after a while and I tilted my head.

"The plane is waiting for us" She spoke as she smiled again. My eyes went wide as I smiled, I was going home. She helped me pack and soon, what little I owned, was in my bag and we were boarding a plane.

"We're going home." I whispered as I looked out the window. She just smiled and took my hand, her head on my shoulder and watched as we took off into the sky.

* * *

Not sure if I'm going to continue it, tell me what you think!


	2. Turbulence

So here we are again, glad you came back to see what happened after we took off. Well first off,I discovered that I didn't like turbulence, sword wielding demons, that I can handle, but at least I was on the ground. When the pilot announced turbulence, I tensed up and when it actually happened, I freaked out a little. Buffy just held my hands and murmured calming things that really didn't help but, I wouldn't be letting her know of that, ever. I smiled at her weakly after the plane calmed and then started relaxing.

As the refreshment cart went by I asked for a brandy and silently thanked whatever strings Buffy had pulled for a private plane because otherwise, I would have been given a water and a smack on the wrist. I did get a look from Buffy as I drained the small glass but she seemed to wave it off when she saw me relax. I leaned back in my seat and started to doze off, apparently the brandy was just what I needed because I slept through the rest of the flight, I only remember the feeling of Buffy's lips brush against my cheek before I was completely out.

By the time the plane landed and I ultimately woke up, it was well after dark in good old Sunnydale. Because of the lack of light, I was on high alert, I wasn't sure if it was for me or for Buffy, don't get me wrong, I know she can take care of herself but, after everything that happened, I couldn't help it. I tensed up when I heard someone behind me and came close to punching the innocent bag boy in the face.

I blushed in shame as Buffy grabbed my arm and pulled me away. She gave me a look as I sighed "Sorry, ever since that night, the dark bothers me, I get all tense and overly paranoid" I said softly, my eyes were set firmly on my boots. I heard her snort before she tilted my chin up and kissed me.

"Don't be sorry, I just don't want you to punch that poor nerd in the face, it would probably kill him, if the punch didn't, the shock of a girl actually touching him might" She smirked and I did all I could not to burst into giggles.

I shook my head and smiled as she took my hand "Lets get you home" She said as she pulled me along. I followed along, letting her warm touch relax me as we made our way to her parked car. I smirked as I eyed the midnight blue '69 mustang.

"Damn, where did you get this beautiful car?" I asked as I inspected it, it was in good shape, the paint was new, the rims had been replaced and there was some suspension work that would be obvious to anyone that worked on cars.

"My grandfather had it in his garage for years, he passed away a few months back so, now it's mine, I had a friend fix it up for me, but I bet you could do a better job" She chuckled, only her eyes showed the sadness for her grandfather's death. I smiled sadly and pulled her close, sliding my arms around her.

"I'm sorry" I muttered softly as she rested her forehead against my chest, she was shaking her head slightly, like she was trying to fight off the sense of grief that had fallen over her. I sighed to myself and managed to keep ahold of her while I opened the door and sat her down in the passenger side seat. Kneeling in front of her, I took her hands in mine "How about I drive" I smiled a bit as she nodded, I hated seeing her upset.

I stood up and winced as my scar ached a bit, waving off the look Buffy gave me as I went around the car and got in. I smiled at her weakly before starting up the engine, I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the car fill me up. I lived for speed and this car would give it to me.

I leaned over and kissed Buffy once before hitting the gas and heading toward town "You still living with your mom or have you got somewhere else?" I asked, glancing at her, the roads weren't too busy, I wouldn't have to pay much attention to them.

"I have an apartment, it's in the complex by the Bronze" She spoke, sounding more like herself again. I nodded and made our way to the cheap complex. It wasn't much to look at, the stone was old and faded, the paint peeled and then carpet, well there wasn't much of it left. She shrugged a bit and tugged me toward the stairs. "The elevator doesn't work" She stated as we climbed.

"We're slayers, we can handle some stairs" I chuckled softly, ruffling her hair as we reached our landing. She rolled her eyes as she unlocked her door and motioned for me to go before her. "What a gentleman" I teased, stepping over the threshold.

I wasn't surprised by the decore much, it was all in shades of red or pink, there were a few random colors thrown in but, it all screamed Buffy. I smiled to myself and plopped onto the couch, grateful to be sitting on something soft and stationary. "I'm going to go shower, make yourself comfortable" She said, smirking, as she walked to her room. She came back out a few seconds later, PJs in hand.

I waited until I heard the water start and stood up, she was going to enjoy her shower more than she expected. I grinned devilishly before pushing open the door slowly, I could feel her better than I could see her, her emotions rolled off her, hitting me like a soft wave. I knew she wanted me to join her but, I could also sense a bit of doubt in her mixed emotions. I shook my head and started undressing, I was about to remove all of the blonde's doubt from her mind.

* * *

here is the much awaited chapter two, hope you enjoy it :3


	3. Reassurance

It doesn't surprise me in the least that you all came back for this part, you little perverts. Anyway, Buffy certainly was surprised when I climbed in the shower behind her, I almost got punched. You would think she would have thought about who it would be, seeing as no one would have gotten through the door and lived to tell the tale. So when I caught her fist, her face was priceless, it was one of those faces you would get if your parents walked in on you drinking. I almost laughed, until she pushed me up against the wall.

I have to admit, it shocked me and the twinge of pain in my back, was enough proof that she wanted this. I smirked as her lips descended upon mine, hot and desperate. At first it was pretty much a fight for dominance but after a while, we fell into our old rhythm. Hands roamed, mouths visited places, long since forgotten. We really hadn't noticed how much time had passed until we were laying on the shower floor, shivering under the cold water, neither any cleaner than we had been before climbing in. On the other hand, we were both pretty ready to sleep. I took the initiative, sitting up and untangling myself from Buffy's warm embrace. Turning off the water, I stood up and offered her my hand. She smiled slyly as she took it, standing up she slapped my butt and pranced away. I shook my head and laughed before following her. She was bent over, her torso in the fridge, smirking, I returned the favor and smacked her. She jumped, squeaking, as she turned around to face me, her hands on her slender hips.

"That actually hurt, missy!" She exclaimed, her mouth forming the pout I've come to realize I can never say no to. I shook my head, rolling my eyes as she made her slow advance, pouting the whole way. "You should make it better, Faithy"

I snorted and turned away, heading to the bedroom, the nickname had ruined it all. I could sense the pout increase as she followed me "You know I hate when you call me that" I stated as I flopped onto the pink bedspread, the blankets were soft and felt amazing compared to the blankets they had at the monastery. I could hear her scoff as she laid next to me, her fingers finding mine as she started to pout again.

"I was just trying to be cute." She whined, looking at me. I rolled my eyes as she leaned up and kissed my chin, trying to butter me up "Forgive me?" She asked and coy smile playing at her lips.

I gave an exaggerated sigh and threw my head back "Fine." I stated in a huff, teasing her. I could feel her lips moving across my collarbone, doing my best to ignore it. We had just sexed ourselves out in the shower but, I was ready again "Jesus, what you do to me!" I chuckled and pulled her to me, kissing her hard.

I could feel that this was going to end like our shower head and I was pretty much lost in the moment, all I cared about was the woman I love, on top of me. So when the cat jumped onto the bed and brushed my side, it scared me, a lot. I remember screaming a small girly scream and jumping as Buffy laughed at me.

I glared at the fat, grey animal that sat on the end of the bed, his amber eyes glinting. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn he did it on purpose. "Steve, the wasn't very nice, scaring Faith like that." Buffy scolded the grey thing, he just looked at her boredly, his ears laid back a bit, as if to say _whoops_? By now, I had pretty much decided,I would not like this sarcastic piece of fatty cat fluff but, since he was Buffy's pet, I would do my best to get along with the blob, known as, Steve.

I raised my brows at Buffy, smirking "Steve?" I asked, what a name for a cat. Seeing as it was Buffy who named him, it was safe to assume it was the first name that popped into her head, probably from some lame ass cartoon she watches.

"Well, I found him as a little kitten, outside of this newer cafe type place and it was called 'Steve's' so I named him after his birthplace." She chuckled shyly, I could tell she was feeling silly as she scratched Steve's ears. The cat kept his gaze on me, like he was warning me that if I tried to get sexy with his master, I would get more than a scare.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled "Well, that's cute" I smiled and laid back down, this time I covered up and yawned "I think we should head to bed, I want to go shopping for some new clothes tomorrow and I think it's safe to assume you are going to take me to see your little friends too." ****

She nodded and curled up, under the blankets next to me "Alright, I love you" She said softly as she cuddled into me, her head on my chest. Oh, how I had missed this.

"I love you too, goodnight, sweetie" I murmured as I kissed her head, drifting off slowly. I could feel Steve making himself comfortable as he kneaded on my stomach. He eventually curled up, his head laying on my free hand, I could feel his purr rumbling in his throat. I smiled vaguely as the mists of dreamland clouded in my brain, lulling me to a soft and contented sleep. This was the first time, in a long time that I had fallen asleep feeling safe and warm and loved.

* * *

I want to thank all of those who have reviewed and followed and favorited this, it makes me so happy to know that you all like it! Thank you for keeping me going on this!


	4. Nightmares

I wasn't expecting nightmares, not tonight of all nights, I was happy, I was sated, so what the hell went wrong? Soon after drifting into darkness, my mind started to replay that night, the night I died. I'm sure I don't have to go into too much detail but, things were different this time, like I was remembering something that I've been missing the last times.

_"Faith, this is going to be one hell of a fight, we need to watch each other's backs" Buffy said calmly as we made our way to the portal entrance. The demons were supposed to be coming from the west side of town, somewhere that was a bit more rural than Sunnydale._

_"I know B, don't worry, I got your back, no one is gonna hurt you" I said firmly as I looked at her. She knew full well I would keep her safe, regardless of my own safety. I suppose that is one of my flaws, but I would do anything to keep my treasured one safe._

_"Watch out for yourself too, okay? You have to promise that you won't do anything stupid." She said, giving me her classic 'you better agree' face. I sighed and looked away, I couldn't make a promise I knew I would break._

_She shoved my arm and huffed as we continued to walk toward what would be the epicenter of this messed up battle. We waited there for about an hour before anything happened and believe me, it took all I had not to jump Buffy's bones. The air was cold and she had her side pressed to mine, this really didn't help my situation at all. All I could feel was her emotions running hot with my own. I swear to god if the demons hadn't have shown up when they did, they would have walked in on a scene like no other._

_So when the first one came out, I jumped up, thankful for a distraction from my lust. Before Buffy could say anything, I was on them. The first wave wasn't too bad, but they kept coming and soon we were pretty much surrounded. We dodged and struck, dancing our death dance across this bloody dancefloor. The fight wasn't too bad, we were both going home tonight, that's what I thought before I saw the king, wielding his giant black steel sword. I watched in horror as he made his way toward Buffy._

_"No!" I screamed and started running. Things seemed to slow down as I moved across the battlefield, I dodged attacks, moved around bodies, dead and alive, until I smacked right into her hard body. As we fell, I felt the pain, the blade had cut me, I could tell it was bad when my senses started to fade. "Buffy.." I whispered softly before things went dark._

_I had expected to have bolted up by now, but the dream continued, the only difference? I was outside of my body, a passive observer on the still bloody battlefield._

_I watched as Buffy gently moved my bleeding body off of her, her face streaked with blood and tears. She stood up, faster than I would have expected and I watched as she went after the king, she screamed, rage and agony twisted together, creating a sound so horribly heart wrenching it made me sick to my stomach. The kind of sick that makes your stomach roll, your heart ache and your head spin. The scene in front of me was frightening, yet I couldn't look away. I saw Buffy take down the king and then mow down his defenses with his own hefty sword. After what seemed like only seconds, Buffy, blood spattered and sobbing, collapsed next to my limp body, there was a huge puddle of blood surrounding me. I could see just how bad my wounds were. I could see my spine from the opening of the gash, if I squinted I could also see where my spinal cord severed, right in the middle._

_She gathered me up as best she could, holding my nearly severed body in her lap, rocking me back and forth as she sobbed. I could faintly hear her through her gasps "I'm sorry...so sorry...I love you" She just kept murmuring it over and over._

There was no jolt to wake me up, no I was woken up by Buffy, shaking me gently. "Faith, are you okay? You're crying." She asked softly as she wiped my face, her fingers felt cold against my warm cheeks.

I looked at her, tears streaming down my face, my back was on fire, but all I could think about was the pain I put her through. "Buffy..." I whispered, pulling her to me. I'm not sure how long I sat in her arms, sobbing as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Faith, what were you dreaming about?" She asked softly as she looked down at my tear soaked face. I looked up at her, trying to control my breathing. I was never any good at crying with grace, I always turned into a gasping fool.

"The..night..I..died" I managed through hiccups, my chest was heaving as my lungs fought for the air I so desperately needed. I felt her heart thump a little faster as the thoughts ran through her mind,I could feel the tension roll off of her.

"Oh.." Was all she could manage to say. I pulled away just enough to look at her face. It was as pale as snow, her lip was trembling. I placed a small kiss on her chin and slid my arms around her.

"I'm sorry that I put you through that, but I'm glad it was me and not you" I said simply, honestly. She just shook her head, her blank eyes tearing up, I could almost see the scenes flashing through her mind. The battle, the screams, the blood, becoming so numb that she never realized that she was bleeding herself until long after the fight.

I sighed softly and shook her out of her daze "Buffy, that time is over, we're here now, together." I spoke quietly as she looked at me, her fingers absently tracing my scar. The soft touch sent shivers down my spine, they touched me to my core. My body was reacting not only to our connection, but the realization that our circle had just been completed. That night was over, we had buried it and the only thing left to commemorate it were my scarred body and our scarred minds. Would we ever truly get over the loss that we faced that night? Would we ever truly be able to look back and say 'I'm okay now'? I honestly didn't think so, but hey, we're slayers, anything is possible.

I kissed her then, soft and slow, pouring all the emotions I could into it, trying to soothe her pain. I wanted her to know that it wasn't her fault and that everything was going to be okay. I just wanted her to be at some level of peace. When I pulled away, she smiled softly, her eyes were light once again.

"I love you" She whispered, pulling me close. I could feel her bury her face in my hair. I smiled softly, kissing her temple. I loved this feeling, the feeling of peace I got by her simply being there, touching me. I don't think I'll be having nightmares anymore.

"I love you too, B." I said softly, tracing shapes on her back. I was ready for us to move on, to make our own life for each other. Maybe even start a family. So next time you see me, who know's I may be a mom. Don't count on that though, we have a long way to go from here. I know the road won't be easy, but she's worth it.

Thanks for listening to me drone on about my love life, hoped you enjoyed this little glimpse into the mind of yours truly, it won't be happening again, I'm not into sharing like Buffy is, talk to her next time.

* * *

so,it's over, sorta thinking about doing one from Buffy's perspective. let me know what you think. thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed this, I hope you enjoyed this little bit of Fuffy action.


End file.
